Conclusions and Realizations
by Luny Lady
Summary: Hermione comes to some... well... conclusions and realizations. HGHP


I've come to realize that monologues/first person fics are really fun. So yeah. You, the readers, get to suffer through my experimentation with them. Enjoy :)

* * *

I've always been the brightest student in my year. Teachers say it, friends say it, even Sirius said it before he even knew how to pronounce my name. It's my trademark.

Yet there is one thing that even I, Hermione Granger, bookworm extraordinaire, cannot figure out. Or, rather, one person.

This is, of course, none other than Harry Potter.

Harry and I haven't always been the best of friends. In first year, he and Ron went about making my life fairly miserable. I was new to the magical world and my inquisitive nature had lead me to read as much as I could possibly get my hands on. It wasn't my fault that I felt the need to share it. I was desperate to be accepted and prove that just because I wasn't born into the world I could still be at the same level as my peers.

So first year finally came and I managed to come off as... well... there's no other way to say it than "know-it-all." I truly didn't mean for it to happen that way, but that's how it was and there's no changing it now.

The way we became friends is one of the classical "damsel in distress" situations that even I found the horrifically cliche irony in. Ron's comments and Harry's seeming agreement to them had upset me enough for me to spend the day crying with shame in a bathroom stall. My cheeks still burn when I think of how stupid I acted.

Then the troll came in. I smelled it much sooner than I heard or saw it, but when I did I knew I was in trouble. I tried to hide from it but it's height prevented me from staying out of sight. Then they showed up.

As soon as I saw Harry, a subtle change came over me. In my eyes, he went from the gawky boy in glasses who tried far to little on his classwork to the heroic young man who deserved every bit of fame that he was given.

He saved my life that day. And, luckily for me, he stayed around long enough to do it many more times in the future.

And here I am, older and I'd like to think wiser, and I still haven't figured out this mystery that is the-boy-who-lived. One moment he's groaning about a Charms essay, the next he's yelling and throwing things in a rage against Professor Snape, and the next he's saving the wizarding world.

What makes him tick? I've been itching to find out for much longer than I've realized. I need to know. So, I've been watching him closer than before.

I've started to notice the little things. I've noticed that in the morning when he's still half-asleep his glasses lie in the middle of his nose and he tends to look over them when anyone speaks to him, even though they must simply be blurs of shapes and colors. He never yawns without covering his mouth, as if afraid allow himself to be so weak as to have an opening like that. His eyes never stop darting around the hall, just in case. One would think this means he's rather paranoid of his surroundings, but I've come to know that it's this awareness that has kept him, and even myself, alive this long.

The other things I've noticed are what have really confused me lately. I used to always fuss over his messy hair, like a mother hen would fuss over her chick, but lately it's become one of his quirks. When it falls in just the right way across his face and nearly covers one eye I can't help but smile like a mad-woman.

His eyes are always brightest when he's speaking of something or to someone he cares for. I can't tell you how happy I was when his eyes shined like that for me and then dulled a great extent as Parvati Patil chose to flutter her exagerated eyelashes in his direction.

That's another of the things that has truly confused me. Why do I care so much that Parvati seems to have taken an interest in him? Surely back in fourth year when he had a crush on Cho, then in fifth when he actually dated her, I didn't feel this way.

Or did I? Now that I think of it, my heart had dropped to my stomach when he informed Ron of the kiss they shared after the meeting of the D.A. in the room of requirement. I had thought, with a pang of something too close to jealousy for my taste, that it should've been me there. I should've stayed after to clean up Dobby's insane decorations, and conveniently paused beneath a branch of mistletoe.

I've come to the conclusion that being a teenager drives one to the brink of insanity. One moment I'm studying, the next I'm watching the way Harry stretches and yawns after a particularly hard Quidditch practice.

Inevitably, this lead to my next conclusion. I've hopelessly fallen for Harry Potter.

Luckily, I may have a chance.

You see, it's Christmas. And we have a D.A. meeting tonight. And I can assure you that Miss Chang will _not _be invited. It's nice being the only girl in Hogwarts to understand how to use our "galleons."

I think before I go, though, I'll make a quick stop at the kitchens to check up on my favorite house elf.

* * *

Hehehe, yeah. This is random, really. I hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you thought of it and if I should continue with my random monologue fics. They're so fun... you should all try it. Really. 


End file.
